Show me your ways Lord………Again

I recall when I first got saved how in awe I was when it came to my savior. My eyes were totally open to the fact that all the love I’ve ever wanted from any human being dead or alive lied in him. My eyes were open to the fact that the hurt that ever came from any human being, rather I loved or hated them had to do with sin. And my eyes were opened to the fact that because of him the pain of sin would one day be no more for the redeemed. PERIOD!!!! If we are indeed the redeemed, we should have a glimpse of what that’s like even in the here and now even with how ugly this world is. I’m of course not suggesting we do not and will not experience pain in this life, but because of him we also experience joy unspeakable and often in the middle of painful situations if we do not fight against Him being the one in control of them that is.

I’ve recently been praying to the Father to take me back to the day I first met Him, the day I said yes to salvation the day that I saw my everything in him.Although I was aware of my faultiness still living in me, I knew that everything that is called life could be found in Him and nothing and no one else would be able to fill his shoes. I had the unspeakable unexplainable joy the perfect peace He tells us about in his word. But I had to pray this prayer because I found myself joyless. I found myself trying to remember what it was like when I said Jesus was enough because all of a sudden He just did not seem to be anymore. Where were all the promises spoken to me, in the mist of hardship I’m not speaking as one who had her hands out saying God gimme gimme, but when it was Him saying this is whatI’m going to bless you with daughter and I gladly accepted and got excited about the promise giver more so than the promise. Where oh where have my promises gone oh where oh were can they be is how I’d feel at times.

And even beyond the promise of physical things, there was nothing more pressing than the need to be content in all things internally. What happened to the days when I had no desire to do anything but curl up in the word. I still love to read and study His word, but I’m talking noTV ever and sitting for hours reading the word having an attitude about the fact that I’d have to go to bed in order to wake up the next day for work, therefore had to stop reading. And the obvious signs of inner turmoil, when the waste line is spreading out because food is being my refuge rather than my Father. The only one dead or alive who promised to never leave nor forsake me. Still desiring growth in Him still reading his words but things suddenly seeming “normal” so to speak. Like an old couple that forgets to appreciate the things that drew them together in the first place.

But God is faithful because He’s been taking me down memory lane. How stubborn I was when I was being drawn, how afraid I was based on ideals planted in me concerning the Church and the death of his son, which makes it possible for me to rap with him in the first place. I was reminded of how He never gave up on me and how I was drawn into relationship repentance first of course but then relationship immediately to follow. It was the blinders being taken off and the knowledge of being a sinner that caused me to fall for Him in the first place. As the word says we only love him because he first loved us. Therefore I was also reminded of my savior’s death on the cross and how I did absolutely nothing to earn or deserve it, didn’t even ask to receive it had to be told I needed it and then made to want it.

By the time my Lord was done with me, I cried I thanked Him I prayed some more to get back to that place not to need reminds of why He is my all and all. When we are totally and completely satisfied in Him, nothing will be able to take His place. I’d love to say today I’m right back at that place, however having the blinders removed....again, places me in position to get there.

I believe we all get to a place when it seems like God doesn’t care he isn’t listening why can’t I hear from Him why aren’t things the way they use to be as I stated. The issue usually has to do with a place God is growing us that we can’t see Him, or a place we’ve taken ourselves. Know that if you are going through any of what I’ve spoken above, our Lord and our God is right there waiting to show you him.....again. Don’t wallow in self pity or the when did it happen how and why, pray receive and walk in it. I’m not even talking backsliding you that still diligently go to church and not because you’re a pew warmer, who still studies the word as I mentioned above who loves the Lord but just recognizes it’s not as it use to be and there are areas in your life that you’d prefer someone or something to fill that God use to fill. Understand even if you get the person or thing, it will not fulfill you because things and people were never created to act as God in your life.

Be made whole talk to your father and walk in his ways with me.....again.

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